Earlier in this month my mother told me that I can’t continue my studies. Because there’s unexpected thing that happened: she lost her job. Instead of comforting her and tell her that “it would be okay and we can make it” I was pissed off. Why? I don’t really know why. I didn’t even bother to ask her how she felt about losing her job. I was being selfish. I only think of myself. And my reason is that I don’t know how to explain it to my friends that I can’t continue my studies. That time I just wanted to fade away. Flew to another city where no one knows me. I want to start something new. But when my friends knew the situation I am currently facing right now they wanted to help. Financially, emotionally and spiritually. They give me inspiring word that really touches my heart, but it scared me. I wanted to run, hide. And it feels like I’m the only person that having a terrific experience right now. I ended up giving up without a fight.
But my mother did everything just to make sure that I can finish this semester. She went through hell for me to be able to be back in school. Days later, my friend told me that one of our closest friends has a serious problem. And that she needs our help. Financially, for that matter. Her father was experiencing stomach-ache that leads to serious disease. They don’t have enough money to visit a doctor or buy a medicine. Her allowance is not even enough to spend it for one week. And not to mention that she’s one of the people that wanted to help me. And told me that she wanted to share her allowance. All this time I thought I was the only one who carried all the burdens in life. It gives me a lot of thinking. How stupid, narrow-minded, selfish and inconsiderate I was. The next thing I knew I was having a conversation with my mother and said sorry to her. After what happened I promised that next time I would be mature enough to face all my problems. After all, I am the only one to blame.